My self portraits

When I first saw people (mostly women) taking self portraits I thought they were showing off. They wanted to take a picture of themselves in the best angel possible, with their hair and make up done. Or in a beautifully messy way. You get it.  I have never taken self portraits because I didn't find myself nice let alone beautiful so there was no point taking a photo of myself.

Then COVID hit the world in 2020 and we found ourselves in a lockdown. That was a challenging time for my family and I knew that the only way I could survive these times if I create as much as possible. The Phlock Community stepped up, got together and female artists from all over the world started to share their work. Laura and Sarah, founders of the Phlock Community, organised online classes which were life saver during those nerve wracking times. They inspired us to calm down, to look inside, to look around, to find beauty  in everyday life and to create. One of those classes was LeAnna Azzolini's class about self portraiture and I thought I would give it a try. I watched it and I cried. The tears were coming up from a very deep place I didn't even know existed. I thought 'Wait a minute! If only watching someone talking about self portraiture and her journey makes me cry, where could *taking those self-portraits* lead me?" I got curious and within a few days I set up my little scene, set up my camera and started "shooting".

I put my mum's old hair rolls into my hair and started to take them out while taking the photos. As I took out more and more rolls I felt like getting out of my own layers. I started to feel light, deliberated and free. By the time my hair was freed from the rolls my soul was freed from pressure. I don't know how it happened. I have no answer but quite honestly I don't care. Something magical happened and I knew I need this kind of magic in my life. I don't want to let it go. Ever. I invited this magic in my life and I want it to stay forever. I knew that the only way make it stay with me by creating more self portraits.

And I did.

And never looked back.

Today I create self portraits of my family to gift my children images of their mother. I create self portraits to reflect on my mood, on the world, on what is happening around us. Very often I lock myself with my camera or go to an empty field because I feel I need to let the steam out. Let it all go. Clear the mess in my head and find the way to back to myself. And I take self portraits.

It has never been about sharing those images. Actually I share about one third of the photos I take because I don't bother to show the rest to the world. They are for myself. Very often it is about the process anyway. Who cares of the outcome if the doing itself makes me feel better?

Below I am sharing a few of my favourites. If you are thinking about taking self portraits but you don't know how I hope these photos (which were taken in different ways) will inspire you.

I will also always be here for you. Should you have any questions, you are not sure how to take those photos technically please never be shy to messages me. I dedicated this site to inspire and help you and I want to encourage you to start taking your very own self portraits. I want to hear from you.

Love, Viki

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Published in Woman and Home magazine